Maid of HonorMaid of Honor (2006)

IMDB rating: 4.60

Plot: While driving in the road, Richard Wynn crashes his car and his beloved wife Molly Wynn dies. Along two years, his sister-in-law Laci Collins moves to his house and helps Richard to raise his son Danny Wynn and his teenage daughter Carrie Wynn. When Richard decides to get married with Nicole Harris, the deranged and psychotic Laci that is in love for Richard, tries to force Richard to call off the wedding with malevolence against Nicole and manipulating Danny.

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Directors: Jackson Douglas

Actors: Ashby Linden,Donnelly Brent,McPhail Steven,O’Reilly Michael,Croft Bill,Rainville Paul,Thriller,

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What do you think I should do? (sorry a bit long!) Pls help. :) ?
I am putting this in engagements & weddings, because my wedding is at the root of this problem.

I have (/had) a female friend. She’s my age, and essentially we grew up together like sisters. I have known her for 20+ years. We get along really, really well.

Now…. when we hit our teenage years, I started to work hard and saved up a lot of money. She was working half-heartedly, and moved in with her drug dealing boyfriend (who is 12 years her senior). So…when I hit 18 years old, I took off traveling around the world. I was gone for about 7 years, although I did come back to visit my family a few times (and each time, I drove to where she lives, which is 4 hours away from the nearest airport). As I had always continued to work and save, despite being overseas, I was always the one paying for EVERYTHING when we did spend time together, on the odd occasions I’d come into town. And, although overseas, I did call her. She never really called me. I didn’t mind any of this though, because i had a greater income then she did, and she was struggling to get by, living in a trailer with her boyfriend.

Fast forward to now. I got married in March of this year. The wedding was to be held an hour and a half away from her house. I offered her free transportation (return), i told her I didn’t expect a wedding gift from her, totally NO-pay for her. I asked her to be my maid of honor. She initially said yes…. but i could tell she was hesitant. Then she backed out of that position…. saying she might not be able to make it due to work schedules. So then she went from that to "I will stay for the ceremony but I have to head home before the reception" (she had a 1 year old baby which she says is cholicky, but the baby was welcome to come too, and even her boyfriend who I don’t like). Anyways so I said fine, I’ll see you at the ceremony. Well, you guessed it. 2 DAYS before the ceremony, she asked me if I would be mad if she didn’t come at all, because she had to work. She claimed she couldn’t get out of it. I said I’d pay her equivalent wages for that day if she needed the money that badly. But no. No show, from her, and her mother (who claimed to be "sick").

I was so dissappointed. She called me when i was getting ready and I was so mad, I just couldn’t talk to her because I was already nervewracked enough so I didn’t answer. She kept texting me when I was on my honeymoon. I sent her a happy birthday text in Aug, but thats it. No communication since.

MY QUESTION:
Am I being unreasonable and ruining a great friendship over somethign like this, or am I doing the right thing and letting her go because by her actions, she wasn’t that great a friend anyways?
I also have a friend who got screwed over by her best friend for her wedding too (she gave her friend 14 months to save for a plane ticket for her destination wedding. The friend cancelled her wedding due to ‘finances’ and went to cuba instead 2 weeks later)

I would’ve done the same thing.. I had a similar situation, except my friend has a car and was the first one i gave an invitation to. She went out the night before and got really drunk. Never showed to my wedding the next day. When i asked her about it she said she was too hungover to make it, but that apparently wasn’t the case because she went out and partied again the night of my wedding.. Never called or even sent a text to let me know she wouldn’t be there. I have completely cut her out of my life. Sorry to rant, just trying to prove a point. you have every right to do what you did. your wedding day is one of the most important days of your life.
Cass | Nov 12, 2009

No, you’re not unreasonable at all. More to the point, you’re not ruining a great friendship for the simple reason that the friendship stopped being great a while ago! This isn’t that uncommon. The 2 of you grew up into very different people and you never got the memo that said it’s time to move on. No friendship will be successful when it’s only one person doing the work.
Messykatt | Nov 12, 2009

Sounds like you had a one sided relationship.

I would stay friends with her but at a distance.

Who needs the drama?

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4REEE | Nov 12, 2009

No relationship can ever work if only one party supports and is honest to run the relationship. You must have heard "two to tango". So in your case, you are not at all unreasonable in letting her go, because she was anyway never that honest in the relationship. And all this time you have just like that wasted your time, money and energy on somebody who never really deserved it from you. So stop worrying about it and enjoy your life because you are now married and now its your husband who needs more attention than anyone else around you…god bless take care!
rainbow | Nov 12, 2009

I had a best mate I grow up with and rode horses with. she done some really shitty stuff and for some reason everytime she’ld decide she wanted something from me I felt like I owed her because we were old mates.
since then we had a disagrement a couple of years back and everytime she’s tryed making contact I’ve just been polite but as far as I’m concerned she’s not a true friend and hadn’t been for along time.

Some times you have to remember that it wouldn’t be your friend there to help when your sick, old etc.
Friends are ment to be people that are there for you and vice verser.
jumbukgirl | Nov 12, 2009

Its time to face the facts. You two havent been good friends in a long time, since way before this. You were traveling and growing and becoming a dynamic, responsible person. While she stayed behind and let herself be in unhealthy relationships. It is only now that it is clearly apparent to you, because you see where her priorities lie… but I have a feeling it has been that way for a long time now.

Dont feel bad. People do grow apart, even the best of friends. Dont waste your time and hers by pretending that there is still something left here to salvage.
fizzy stuff | Nov 12, 2009

i would have done the same thing, 1st she resigns from being your maid of honor, then she doesn’t come to your wedding at all!! sounds like she wasn’t a good friend at all, sounds like she was just making an excuse not to go which isn’t fair to you cause it was a really important day for you and you wanted to share your happy moment, and she should have done all that she could to make it there. You didn’t ruin the friendship, she did.
Micky | Nov 12, 2009

let it go she is more than likely on drugs her behavior is terrible
Nora | Nov 12, 2009

I would of done the exact same thing.
shannon | Nov 12, 2009

People change, their priorities change. People have secrets and ulterior motive for doing [or not doing] things. And people are prideful, not always given to accept help or charity. And people can be touchy, one never knows how others interpret things, and get their feelings hurt over, or be jealous about. I’m wondering if there is not more to your friend’s lack of communication than thinking you might be mad at her for being a no show.
Hard to say what the real problem was there, but Mother was in on it too. And it was very rude of your friend to keep texting, one "no" was enough for a busy bride to handle. Who would text on another person’s honeymoon?
I understand about her work, it might not have been about the money at all, but about calling off or asking for the day off. Not everyone has those luxuries. At a previous job, they were not going to let me off at all for my mother’s funeral[she had been sick a week before her death, and I did not call off}. Even though legally, they had to give me 3 days off. And to ask for a vacation day was six weeks in advance of the pay period the requested day was in, and if the schedule was already posted, or they just did not like you, even six week in advance notice would be denied. . And maybe she was maxed out on sick days, maybe she had called off a lot with the colicky baby.
You did the right thing, you sent her BD wishes. That said that you wanted to keep in touch.
If she did not respond, or does not send you wishes on your BD, you will know she is done with you.
Don't let it worry you a lot, it sounds harsh, but friends come and go. I have one now that has changed so much, her honesty and forthrightness that I admired has turned into jealous vindictiveness and just is plain mean. She accused me of being selfish [I did not spend enough to suit her on her grand kid's presents], and she does not see her own selfishness and jealousy. I do not have kids, so I will never have grand kids, and it hurts a lot. She fails to see that. All she sees is my childless china and crystal household, and sees her own childproof house, she fails to see how cold china and crystal are.
Hang in there, keep in touch with her if you want. Friends have a way of coming back into your life after long absences.
riversconfluence | Nov 13, 2009

Honestly, you were a little rude to your friend. To offer to pay for her wages for the day is just insulting. If someone has to work, it doesn’t necessarily mean they need wages for that day, it could mean they will loose their job if they don’t show.

Now I am not saying your friend has been perfect but you need to be a little more respectful of other people’s obligations. Her job is (and should be) more important than your wedding.
lalala | Nov 13, 2009